Just got paid, Friday night.

Dear Cate,
It's Friday. It's also payday. That means that I will have some variation of the same conversation with at least five to seven (sometimes even ten) of my coworkers. It goes something like this:

Random Coworker: Good Morning (this greeting can be changed to match the time of day, or simply be a hey/hello/hi there/greetings etc)
Me: Hey! How are you today? (or how's it going, etc)
Random Coworker: Great - it's Friday! (ready for the weekend, glad it's friday, etc)
Me: And a payday too, doesn't get much better!
Random Coworker: That's right!
Me: Well, have a good weekend
Random Coworker: You too!

Now, one would think that this was not necessarily a noteworthy conversation. I concur. Alone, it wouldn't be. However, something should be said about the fact that there are days when I have strikingly similar conversations with sometimes up to ten very different individuals EVERY FRIDAY. Does no one have anything original to say these days? Of course, only a Friday can inspire so many conversations. You don't ever hear anyone say "I'm so glad it's Tuesday!" Maybe I should start that.

Actually, I'd rather be very specific and obscure in my celebration of whatever day of the week it happens to be. That's why I like holidayinsights.com. This is what the rest of my Friday conversations will go like today:

Coworker: Happy Friday!
Me: Indeed, it is a happy day! In fact, today is Polar Bear Day. How will you be celebrating?
Coworker: excuse me?
Me: Yes, Polar Bear Day. I'm thinking that I'm going to stuff a bunch of pillows under my clothes so that I look bigger, and wear all white to match the great carnivorous creature.
Coworker: I don't think I understand
Me: That is too bad. I agree, Polar Bear Day has really become far too commercialized. It's really not just a Hallmark holiday you know. So, do you want to come over later and watch some Animal Planet? You can only work the remote with your left hand though - so as to reflect the great white fuzzy creatures' prominent side.
Coworker: I've got to go...
Me: Ok then! Happy Polar Bear Day! And, have a great Public Sleeping Day tomorrow and a Merry Peanut Butter Lovers' Day on Sunday!
Coworker: Right... later
Me: See you on Old Stuff Day!



Love,
Riss

Cha-Ching

Dear Riss,

I have good news: I am an adult. For a while, I was unsure of what really made you an official adult, but now I know. When I went off to college, I felt pretty independent, but really I was still a baby to the world. Then after I got a real job, I discovered I had a bunch of adult-like responsibilities but I was still able to have too much fun. I was almost positive that getting married would turn me into an adult, but it did nothing of the sort. Finally, years of curiosity and pseudo-adulthood are over. Mark your calendars, today, February 25, 2009, I became an adult. I successfully filed my taxes. The IRS has accepted me and my 1040. Not too long ago I didn't even know what a 1040 was. It's almost embarrassing.

To celebrate my successful first act of adulthood I first thought we could throw a party where everyone gets tied down in uncomfortable chairs and is forced to solve word problems and do mental math while listening to the on hold music of the IRS's 1-800 number. You know, to celebrate how much fun taxes are. But then I thought it would be a better idea if you just got me a trophy. I went ahead and did a quick sketch of what the trophy should probably look like.

I think you will agree that I should receive this trophy as soon as possible, in order to display so everyone else can do their taxes in defeat, knowing that have no chance of receiving the Best Taxes of 2008 Award and/or trophy. No sense in letting all the other adults get their hopes up.

Love,
Cate

Is this going to be forever?

Dear Cate,

I am spending my day in South Lobby exile/hell. I'm so very bored. Good news though, it looks like there are finally some signs of life. A man with hair to his shoulders and another guy with a really creepy mustache just passed by. Phew, I was beginning to think I had accidentally ended up in an alternate universe.


In regards to our dessert last night, the picture actually turned out fairly well. The waiter, who's name I can't remember because it wasn't Tommy, should be proud of his artwork. I am pretty sure he was proud because when we paid he asked us if we noticed the smiley face. Even though he almost caused a scene when he brought us the bill before we were able to order dessert, I was still impressed with his skills - pictured below.




Wow. Just looking at that picture gives me the urge to go to Granite City and order more of the apple pie deliciousness that was that dessert. It's too bad that our waiter who wasn't Tommy couldn't do that swirly plate trick like his roommate who works behind the bar can do.


I currently don't have any big plans for the weekend. It's a shame, too, because I really don't think a dress this purple and fantastic should go to waste on just a day in the lobby. Is it really only 2pm? 3 more hours? Really? NOOOOO!!!! Why is this happening to me?


We should definitely go to that shark/dolphin/whale exhibit/movie thing you mentioned. I don't remember what it was, even though I just read about it a moment ago. I've had so much coffee that I'm confused about what is real and what is not right now. I do remember that one time I watched a made-for-disney channel movie that was about dolphins, and it was pretty good. Of course, by "pretty good" I mean "the cheesiest most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen up until that point." I think it was called "Ring of Endless Light" or something over the top like that.


I know what we can do. Let's rent "High School Musical 3: Senior Year." We can make a drinking game out of it like we did that one time. Felt posters optional.

Love,
Riss

Did that picture turn out on your camera phone?

Dear Riss,

Dinner was great last night even though our waiter brought us our ticket before we had a chance to order dessert and then put a caramel smiley face in our ice cream as if to try and make up for it, but only digging the wound deeper into our souls. I had a good time with you though and on our accidental shopping trip afterward. I need to thank you for talking me into buying those brown leather pumps. Looking back, it was the right thing to do. I just didn't see it at the time. Even though it's Friday, I'm planning on staying home and staring lovingly at my shoes all night. I literally can't think of anything else I'd rather do which may be an early warning sign of a chemical dependency on the smell of new leather shoes but I'm too blithe to care. What are your plans this weekend? Would you like to go see "Dolphins and Whales 3D" at the Union Station City Extreme Screen?

Love,
Cate

Cheesy Beer-y Goodness

Dear Cate,

I'm so ready for our dinner date tonight at the land of good company and attractive waiters that many people call "Granite City." I look forward to spending time with you, but to be honest, I'm probably most excited about the Cheddar Ale Soup. There's a good chance that I will eat 30-50 bowls of it and they will finally ask me to leave because they ran out of their magical beer-y cheesy goodness. At this point, a riot will ensue because I will have deprived countless others of their inalienable right to partake of delicious soup. I may throw a few chairs and roundhouse kick a few of the cooks and servers in the crotch. They'll call the cops and there will certainly be some sort of stand off. Hopefully, it will all be resolved with a "to go" bowl of Cheddar Ale Soup (for the road) and I will be on my way. What's more likely to happen, however, is that I will need to be shot with several tranquilizer darts before the S.W.A.T. team is able to approach me to cuff me and lock me up. I'll spend the night in jail, and probably be charged with felony assault and destruction of property. Don't worry though. I'm sure my lawyer can get me a plea bargain. I'll have to pay some restitution and do some community service, but it will just be a slap on the wrist really. I'll make a public apology, and chalk it up to the folly of youth, but really - I'll be counting down to the next time that I get to indulge myself in magic cheddar ale wonder. Obviously, not at the Olathe Granite City location becuase they will have gotten a restraining order against me. However, we could probably get in still at the Zona Rosa Granite City, and I'll do my best to eat the soup in moderation.

See you soon!

Riss