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Gather ‘round and don’t be late
To hear all about Riss & Cate
Their story is quite first rate.

Two young women who are very pretty
College made them smart and witty
But they've moved back home to Kansas City

Each to the friendship brings her own skills
Cate saves her money to pay the bills
And Riss bakes cookies to give men thrills

Cate is married so her life is tame
Riss is single and has more than one flame
Both wonder if they're destined for fame

“We do what we want” you hear them cry
They love Kate Walsh and Lorelai
To have fun all they do is try

Even though they're now adults
They aren't crazy or in any cults
So don't try out any old lady insults

So what if they prefer staying in to going out?
Or they prefer milk and cookies to vodka and stout?
They can have a night in and smile, not pout.

They like to watch Walker, Rectangle Ranger
Rather than get in trouble with strangers
They remember the baby from the manger

They may have seemed like losers in their earlier years
They’ve been mocked by others and felt the sneers
In wittiness and charm they’ve now surpassed their peers

All dorkiness they learned how to reverse
They're snarky and funny and sometimes curse
Always with great outfits and a matching purse

Wherever they go they’re sure to be seen
They’re liked so much because they’re rarely mean
Others around them with envy are green

They both like shopping for clothes and shoes
They listen to good bands like Brand New and Muse
They both are Christians and not Jews

They’re known to woo waiters wherever they go
They try to avoid sledding in the snow
To peanut butter M&Ms they never say “no”

They like watching football on the couch
The Chiefs sometimes cause them to be a grouch
But for Tony G they'll always vouch